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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
...
"It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour," testified the man charged with indecent exposure.
"Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge.
"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinkin ...
The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.
When the wife comes to offic ...
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as caddies.
While walking around the course the English man's wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped ...
"Good evening ladies", Sherlock Holmes said as he passed three women eating bananas on a park bench.
"Do you know them?" Dr. Watson asked.
"No", Holmes replied, "I've never met the nun, the pros ...
A young man graduated from the University of Arkansas with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper that hired him was to write a human-interest story. Being from Arkansas, he w ...
When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph becam ...
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and s ...
A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat conspicuously unoccupied in the front row. Seizing the opportunity, he took the seat.
As soon as the first dancer walked out, the gu ...
A man walks in to a bar and says,
"H-hi, I-I-I'd l-like a Whi-whi-whiskey S-s-sour p-please"
The bartender replies,
"C-c-certainly s-s-sir. One Wh-whiskey S-s-sour c-coming up"
"H-hey!" sa ...
A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life, so she placed a personal ad that read:
RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE
LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING
QUALIFICATIONS ...
A new intern is getting a tour of the hospital he will be working in. He walks past a room where a man is vigorously masturbating non-stop, and asks the doctor why the man was doing such a thing out ...
Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Saul Dumbrowski's C ...
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My what big eyes you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and ...
The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Ariel Sharon, the Prime Minister of Israel.
"Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, Mr. Sharon wants to challenge you to a game of gol ...
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said,
"You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
While this was on the edge ...
It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him.
As she knelt down to loosen his collar, ...
Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requests shelter there.
Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted.
Af ...
A little girl went to church with her mother for the first time. Soon, the little girl began feeling ill.
"Mom," she whispered, "I think I'm going to throw up."
"Go out the front door, dear, the ...
An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the be ...
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